Riddle Me This, Riddle Me that, are Millennial Big Ol’ Brats?

Riddle me this millennials: a graduate needs experience in order to obtain a job, but they cannot get a job without experience. A graduate needs to move out of your parents, but can’t move out of their parents, until they move in with their parents. These have been the cultural conundrums that have puzzled a generation. Perplexing: yes. Unsolvable: never.

Millennials are entitled egotists and social snobs that want to be rewarded for laziness. They grow up behind screens; plugged in to the society’s machine. They go to school to get useless degrees and acquire copious amounts of debt. And for what? So they can spend day after day sitting in their parent’s basement fueled only by Netflix and ideas of grandeur? Hopeless, useless, jobless saps! I don’t care if you don’t like the traditional 9-5 jobs. I don’t care if it doesn’t fit your process. When I lost my job did I wallow in a pool of my own self-pity? —no. Did I move in with my parents? Are you kidding me? —Despite what those Arkham morons say, I’m not that crazy. Instead, I pulled myself up from my boots straps and took matters into my own hands. I acted, which is more than most of you can say. I learned more, tried more, and was more. If knowledge is power, I am a god!

The answer that titillates the vacant space between a millennials’ skull and brains is simple: get a job! Any job. Work harder, be smarter, live larger. Do what you gotta do. Willpower and determination will do more than binge-watching Daredevil and making dream boards. Silly millennials, dreams are for kids!

Was that over the top? I can never tell.

P.S. Help wanted: Unpaid internship. Looking for a sidekick. Someone who will blindly follow without asking question.

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9 thoughts on “Riddle Me This, Riddle Me that, are Millennial Big Ol’ Brats?

  1. A few spelling mistakes, but overall really fun too read! I’m throughly enjoying the opinions of all these villains, they’re pretty spot on. I think Fish Mooney would have had loads to say about millennial and the “lazy-entitled-spoiled-peter pan” cloud that looms over them, seeing as to how she’s a woman who not only climbed but dominated the Gotham night scene for years. The Riddler’s thoughts on the matter are as snarky as they should be, and I loved that his enigmatic (heh get it) personality really came through in this post. Well done! 🙂

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  2. I’m not a big fan of cartoons, however, the Riddler played by Jim Carey really stuck with me. This was fun to read! Although, don’t you think the Riddler would want people to be lazy, mindless drones who stare at a glass screen all day? I think the Riddler would have argued the other way.

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  3. Well, he was always about challenging the intelligence of others. He wanted to prove his intellectual prowess by defeating the smartest people he could find. He was always looking for challenge. One of the reasons we left riddles at the crime scene was to see if someone was as smart as he was and was smart enough to beat him. That’s why he always goes up against Batman. His strategy in Batman Forever involved sucking the intelligence from others, where he would likely still prefer motivated and intelligent people that could afford his nefarious set-top boxes to become his drones, rather than a group of people that are already sucked dry. He would be too bored if the world was mindless drones. Also, in the Batman Animated Series a computer software designer who got fired. the Riddler would be mad that the workforce is being replaced by lazy millennials. Many pre-millennials want millennials to work, like they had to, to achieve their goals.

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  4. I love the The Riddler’s voice in this kind of post. He’s definitely the kind of person who will look at a situation, compare himself or his experiences with that situation, and try to brag about it. From playing the Batman video games and watching some of the cartoons and reading a few of the comics, I can definitely hear his voice coming through the post. I hear his condescending little tone as if the Millennials are children in his classroom and he makes himself that much more irritating. Spelling mistakes aside, fun read. Thanks!

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  5. I really enjoyed the Riddler’s stance on Millennials. Although, I wouldn’t necessarily agree with him, I do feel he has made a few good points. His words seem to be a lashing toward those Millennials that actually to fall under all the listed stereotypes. It is hard not to want to grab a hold of a narcissist in the making and tell them to do something productive with their time/life.

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  6. If the basement futon fits! A Millennial chains their eyes to a tiny screen instead of working and you don’t call that lazy? A Millennial takes selfie after selfie and you don’t call
    that narcissistic? A Millennial reduces their thoughts to 140 characters and you don’t call that brainless? I’m just calling it what it is.

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  7. Aside from being very in-character for the Riddler, I actually think that this is really good advice for millennials. I don’t know if your intention was to posit your own ideas on the generation, and I’ll definitely feel like a bit of an idiot if it was purely there as in-character discussion, but millennials really do just need to go out and get a job – any job – and make something of themselves. Motivation is a huge factor of success in the modern world.

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  8. Can I just say how much I loved the style this was written in? This is a controversial topic and I feel like it gets the message across to the millennials themselves. I usually don’t enjoy this debate because I can see both sides to the issue, but your style of writing made it so that I can see this point of view that is the one that is right. Well done!

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